Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Eddie Murphy sings....

Here's Eddie Murphy. Trying to hard to land some chicks. Wonder what song he is singing? Remember "Party All The Time"?

Nice ass tattoos.

Wendy Ho

This is hilarious. I usually don't have the patience for this stuff, but as a handbag whore myself, I can totally get down with this. Except for the stealing. I buy my own shit.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Madonna looks like gristle, too.

Guy Ritchie said sex with Madonna was like cuddling up to a piece of gristle. I believe that. And is that a freaking mustache over her lip? Her brows are waxed so what the eff is that lip about? She is starting to look even older than her 50 years. They say too many nips and tucks age a person. Too many more and people all start to look the same.

And while I'm at it, that shiny jacket is tacky and lets hope that's faux fur, although I'm sure it cost more than my car.

I used to simply adore Madonna, but anymore she is just a freaky weirdo.

Bummer.

Woody Harrelson waked, baked and got married.

Woody Harrelson married his longtime girlfriend, Laura Louie.
They have three daughters, Makani Ravello, 2, Zoe Giordano, 12 and Denni Montana, 15.

I don't know. They look weird. Interesting choice, Woody.

Woody will always be Mickey to me.

Paris Hilton's HERPES!


Wow. Fucking gross. We all knew Paris has herpes. Remember those Valtrax prescription bottles from that seized storage unit? I thought she had it down there but here it is.
And it's on her lip!
Now, THAT is hot.


Bikini Pictures


Here's Elle McPherson and Katy Perry. What do they have in common other than being in a bikini? Nothing.

I think Katy Perry has a way better shape. Elle is obviously in fantastic shape (age is not a factor) but that top does not fit her right.
...guess I just find Katy's body sexier.


The point? I don't have one :)

Monday, December 29, 2008

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal

Reese and Jake are matching. That is so stupid. Sorry. But really? They coordinated their outfits? Why? Those are a couple of big puffy jackets ...and the baskets? Lol.

Reese is way too uptight.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Do You See What I See?











Really cool comparisons. I found these over at:
Famous like Me

He does a very excellent "Mug Shot Monday"
...go! Check it out.


Nikki Cox & Jay Mohr



Well looky here. I do believe Nikki has let up a bit on the Restylane injections. Remember those huge ass-tastic bongo lips she was sporting?
And even though she looks nothing like she used to she is definitely looking better.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Pete Wentz and his crazy hair...


Now I see why Pete Wentz wears his hair all crazy. It's a strategic move to shuffle some across that receding hairline.
He also needs to wrap some across his big fat mouth. He's been blabbing all sorts of private details in interviews lately. Such as, Ashlee lets him put it in her no-no hole, she's been giving him blow jobs and her breast milk taste "weird and sour-y".
Pete! STFU.

Chyna is looking better?


Or not... I can't tell what's normal anymore.
Guess what? I've seen her naughty bit. It is amazing.

Lindsay & Samantha


Aw...


It took me a while but now I kind of like these two together. Don't think they are going to make it, though. Huge epic fights are the norm for Li Lo and Sam.

Salma Hyek SMOKING!

I never knew she smoked. Not that it's a huge deal. A lot of people do. I did for years. I'm a quitter these days, but I know it ain't easy.

One thing I can say about the majority of celebrities (with the exception of Catherine Heigl), is that most of them keep the cigarettes under wraps.
That has me thinking, how many smokers are "out"? I can think of Britney, Lindsay Lohan... Hmmm... I recently saw a picture of Eva Longoria smoking, didn't know she did...
Let's see...
Who else?


Tom & Gisele are engaged...

I'm sure you've heard.

But what I always notice is how much they resemble each other. They look like brother and sister, actually.

Everyone is like, what will their babies look like?!

Um, them.

It's The Weekend!

Well, that sucks.

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Friday, December 26, 2008

Jodi Marsh is half naked...


Okay.... more than half naked. And her tattoo's are weird. Click on the picture (if you dare).
Nope. Jodi, this is NOT OK.

Suri Cruise


I'll bet Suri is a little hellion. She has that determined look in her eyes. It'll be interesting in 10 years to see how all these Hollywood brats turn out.

The Rossdales


Here's the adorable Rossdale family going to Christmas Mass. I love how they are all matching. Gwen rocks that red lipstick. And Kingston rocks that red binkie!

Prince William & Prince Harry


Prince William has a full on snatch face. Ew. I don't like it. I suppose he hopes it will distract us from his rapidly thinning hair.


Guys get so uptight about their hair falling out. I believe they are more concerned with going bald than women care if they are bald or not. Did that make sense?



In any event, both these boys are cute in their own way.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Pamela Anderson needs to STOP!

Okay. Please. Stop.

Someone should tell Pamela Anderson that she needs to put some pants on.

Does she not read her own press? Does she see not these pictures?

Ick.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Linda Hogan & Charley Hill Fender Bender!




Linda Hogan got rear ended (not her fault) yesterday in Clearwater Florida.

Damn, Linda is gettin' BIG!

Katie Holmes needs a make under...

Nope Katie. This look is definitely not festive. Please go wash it off. Start over. Be natural.

Lily Allen wears weird stuff...


Lily Allen in an interesting "outfit". Really, In my humble opinion, she should have worn red gloves and shoes too. Just to shoot the entire thing in the ass. Her feet look enormous!

Tom Cruise & Connor Cruise

I see a resemblance between Tom & Connor. I know. I KNOW! He is totally adopted. But still, I can see something there.....

It's The Weekend!

Don't do anything I wouldn't do...

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The Duggars


This is just disgusting. And wrong.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Frances Bean Cobain

Frances is really turning out to be a pretty girl. She has her daddy's eyes.

I love that necklace!

Is it just me?


Or does Jen looks so pathetic here? Seems to me that Jennifer Aniston is way more into John Mayer than he is into her.
And really, she is not pretty. Sorry. I know there are legions of Team Aniston out there, but I just don't see it.
Not sayin' that every actress has to be drop dead gorge or anything.. But not only is she unattractive, her personality sucks and she is a lousy actress.
Meow!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Cisco Adler Busted!


Earlier this morning Cisco Adler was arrested in Fargo, North Dakota. The dumbass was fighting in a bar.
Wonder what happened?
Maybe someone accidentally stepped on one his incredibly long testicles. Seen those? I think everyone has. If not you can scoot right over HERE and take a look. Incredible.
And, um yeah, the link is NSFW.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Dasha Astafieva is a SKANK!

Here is Dasha Astafieva. Latest "love interest" of Hugh Hefner.

While walking the red carpet someone drew attention to the fact that her thong was fully visible under her see-through dress.

So what does a classy lady do? Yank up her dress and pull down her panties.

And her ass is not even cute. Plus it looks like she has pimples on it.


Nice.

Halle Berry's boob is totally hanging out!

Halle had a major nip/boob slip while filming her new movie. I am pretty sure she is horrified that her breast popped out like that. Halle seems rather modest and I am guessing this is a total accident.

Can you imagine though?

Having a wardrobe malfunction is bad enough but having it plastered all over the internet is totally uncool.

So, I won't be posting it, right? Right.

Goldie Hawn needs an intervention...

Goldie, honey...

that pose may have looked cute in your 20's but these days it is just downright scary.

Jennifer Lopez Looks Beat Down


J Lo could use a little work on that nose. She looks like a boxer with a few too many brawls under her belt.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Audrina Patridge

Here's Audrina, looking nothing like herself.

You Weekly Wino

Amy Winehouse. Ain't she pretty?

Courtney Love


...and here is Courtney looking absolutely NOTHING like herself. Seriously. Wtf? Step away from the scaple.

Brendan Fraiser is not hot anymore :(


What on earth?! I suppose it's scary celebrity day here at Celebrity Rant. The fugly stuff is abundant!

Hugh Hefner's sons

Marston is 17 and Cooper is 18. They look rather creepy, huh? I've never seen them before. In fact, until just recently I wasn't sure if Hugh had any kids.

Aretha Franklin covers up!


Finally. Aretha Franklin wore a big enough dress to contain those massive, droopy mammaries. Thank you baby jeebus!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Speidi

I finally found something even more lame than Spencer and Heidi's staged photo shoots.

Misletoe still in the wrapper.


Tacky!